When did we start teaching our men to externalize their feminine? To put the responsibility for transforming their emotions outside of themselves, onto the women in their lives?
We are each equal parts masculine and feminine. Penis or vagina, neither or both, you are half masculine and half feminine. These ultimate archetypal energies play out through us in essential ways, every day.
The feminine is the energy of creative inspiration and flow. She is the nurturer and nourisher, the one who sees the big picture, and understands just what is needed to keep things moving. She is energy in motion (E-MOTION). She is the part of us from which physical manifestation can arise as it is her through which the birth of an idea flows in the first place. Without her, and her understanding of the necessary gestational period for any seed, no ideas – indeed no creation at all – would ever be birthed in to the world.
The masculine is the energy of forward motion and form. He is the one that moves the pen across the page, the paint across the board, the dance across the stage. He hears the whispers of the feminine and brings her ideas in to form. He is the protector, the leader, the one who paves the way. If he is listening to her, he then KNOWS the way, and will get us there safely while serving flow and the highest good of all things. If he is not, he chooses the way based on what he thinks he knows, risks vs rewards, and what he can see in his physical world, what will serve him and those in his tribe - even if it comes at the great expense of others.
History has often called on this aspect of the masculine as we have asked our men to push the whisperings of their feminine so far aside that their masculine can carry out terrible acts, at any cost to anyone and anything outside of the tribe/belief system.
Outside of war, which is the suppression of the feminine to the extreme, every day, everywhere, men are widely taught to externalize their own feminine. To put their emotional needs outside of themselves, and to make the women in their world do this work for them. I have seen so many women in my practice that are exhausted from living with men who project all their emotional stagnancy, their unresolved trauma, outwards, in angry outbursts, sulky tantrums, shaming and blaming. These women absorb all of this, and do their very best to transform it. Women are taught that is their role. That part of being the nurturer means taking care of everybody else’s shit.
And herein lies the big issue that is wreaking havoc in our world.
The masculine took over the world at some point in our history. Some think it was the doing of organized religion, a structure that believed that form, control and unquestioning loyalty would be threatened by the unpredictable movements of energy in unconstrained motion (an aspect of the feminine). When the feminine is really allowed to move anything can happen – we see that in the incredible beauty, intricacy and power of Mother Nature. And as a woman who feels like she is desperately holding on to a flailing fire hose blasting out water at full force when emotions move through her, I get it why it’s scary if you don’t understand it. Feminine energy is powerful, and when it flows, you just have to give it room. It is the energy of transformation and transformation is powerful stuff. I understand why this energy would seem so terrifying to a group of people who generation after generation are taught less and less about how to allow for, and move with, this flow, and taught more and more that it should be dammed up. Who are taught that allowing this energy of the feminine the space to flow as it wants (and needs) to comes at the expense to what we should value most – structure, predictability, form, control, and steady material gain.
So, the feminine was persecuted, actively. It still is. Our whole way of living is largely in pursuit of feminine persecution STILL. We try to dominate nature, build form and structure over flow. We take from our Mother Earth, expecting her to just keep on giving. And what do we give back? Our shit. We project our shit all over the place and expect her to keep on transforming it. We spew our garbage in to her water, her soil and her skies and expect that she will take care of it and offer us back unending nourishment.
And guess what? She’s exhausted. She’s depleted. And she’s covered in shit.
So what to do?
Just like our dear Earth, no longer is it the job of those who best carry the feminine (and often this is women, but not always) to transform all the shit. It is time to say NO to being a dumping ground. It’s not the job of your feminine to take on and transform everyone else’s stuff.
Then take it one step further. If you are a human being that understands how to allow for the flow of the feminine do not hide your ability to transform energy. Be a model for the people in your life. Be a model for the men, who have been so poorly taught how to hold their own feminine – moreover they were taught the opposite, how to reject her, how to shame her if she was visible in other men. We need to show them that they are safe to express their sorrows. We need to show our young men how to safely and cleanly express their anger before it twists up inside and becomes rage.
Emotional transformation really is a dying art, and if you have this gift you need to start unashamedly allowing for this flow. For YOUR flow. This means taking responsibility for your actions and the resulting emotional by-products, and being that guiding light for others to learn to the do the same.
What is happening on the Earth right now is a reflection of what is happening inside our own bodies. It is time to clear your emotional backlog, to stop trying to get someone else to do it for you, and to stop serving this twisted way by being the one who endlessly takes it.
This is a big part of what is needed to allow for a planetary energetic shift, and an even bigger part of simply gaining personal strength, finding joy and well-being, and resolving conflict in both your inner, and your outer, worlds.
Why is this topic so important? Read more about Climate Change and the UN report on global warming that gives us until 2030 to sort it out.