We are energy first, and bodies second, arriving into this world of form from…where exactly? The quantum field? Heaven? A pool of star dust? The beak of a stork?

My intellect loves a good quest for answers, but if there is an ultimate truth when it comes to our soulful energetic origins I don’t think it really matters what that truth is. What does matter is that we find a way to hold our existence here with meaning, and for me that means including… somehow …who and what are at least a part of where come from. When I do this I feel more resourced. I feel an opening to grace. I feel that I am on purpose and that my actions matter for the larger whole. And this feels good.

I am swimming with sharks and sting rays (and Tom Cruise).
I pull a tampon out of my left shoulder.
I am driving past piles of dead geese.
A white snake lies resting on my lap.
A sombrero wearing muffin with a moustache is speaking to me in Spanish. (Seriously.)

These are a few of the hundreds of images that I have written about in my journals, sent to me by my dreams in their nightly attempt to translate the messages of my psyche (the invisible animating principle of my body) into a symbolic language that they think I might understand. And no…I’m not talking about Spanish!

Yes I know it might seem like it would be easier if your psyche just pulled up a chair every night and had a good ‘ol chat with you in your spoken language about what you need to be paying attention to, but it doesn’t work that way. Symbols transcend the many shortcomings of words, which are merely abstractions that turn the vastness of a felt understanding into a tidy little package of intellectual concepts. Symbols speak to a part of our knowing that is beyond language. They open doorways to new layers of insight that we might have no way to conceptualize with language.

Check this out… quantum physicists did an experiment where they lowered the temperatures in a laboratory to absolute zero (-273 deg C!). At this temperature EVERYTHING freezes, even all molecular motion ceases. Then they took all of the matter out of that space to create a complete vacuum. Yet still they discovered that there was energy there. When there was supposedly nothing in the room, and it was too dam cold for anything to move even if there was something in there, there was still some kind of vibrational energy present. This “Zero Point Field” is thought to pervade the entire universe as a kind of base vibration from which all of form arises.
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Well, the Lover in me just LOVES this! A field of all pervading energy that everything is connected to? (“But of course” says the Mystic in me…what else would Spirit be dummy?).

Who is "The Lover"?

The archetype of the Lover is so much bigger than romantic love! Yes, the Lover enjoys romance, but as a part of their Love for being alive and the joy of being a vessel for the divine force of Love to flow through their body as they co-create with Source itself.

This month I celebrate the 20-year anniversary of Spirit's interception with the course of my life.

Celebrate might seem an odd word to choose when considering the means that were chosen by Spirit – a sudden and rather extreme physical system failure – and yet even at the time I knew that beneath the pain of my experience was a great gift.

What happened you ask?
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Well, life had been ticking along as life does when one is in her early 30’s and pushing herself towards all her worldly goals whilst pushing down a great big pile of unresolved emotional trauma. In my then home of Ireland I was doing a PhD, raising a toddler, and working a couple of part-time jobs. I was indeed working very hard…and partying very hard whenever I could. Having left a very difficult marriage two years previously I was still revelling in my newfound freedom in a country renowned for its revels. That I had not done a single iota of emotional processing hadn’t really been consciously noticed by me. Wasn’t the release I felt on the dance floor the only release I needed?

“I don’t know.” The magic words of the facilitator and participants at a Family Constellations workshop.

It is only in this stance of not-knowing that we can be available to what wants to be known through the unfolding phenomenon of the constellations process. 
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What happens in these workshops defies direct description. It can only really be understood when directly experienced. But I will attempt to paint a picture!

Conversational AI tools like ChatGPT and Microsoft Copilot are extremely useful for offering synopses based on content that is already out there. In that way they help us access the internet-logged information of the past (right up until the millisecond before this moment, which is pretty impressive).

​As someone who spent two decades in science, I know the great value of having access to what is known already.

BUT, as conversational AI insidiously works its way into our lives, do we risk letting our Creation muscles atrophy? 

In Greek mythology the course of a person’s life is determined by three sister Goddesses, known as “The Fates”.

​The Fates are spinners and weavers, and together these three work, thread by thread, to weave the great tapestry of life (and death). Clotho spins each individual thread, allocating the form of life (ancestry, physicality, birth nation etc) to which the person will be irretrievably bound. Lachesis determines the length of thread, thereby assigning the length of the life, and how this thread will be woven into the one tapestry. Atropos cuts. She is a matchmaker of sorts, arranging dates with Death.
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Through the lens of fate and the power of The Fates, the course of your life may seem beyond your control. But, not so….please…keep reading!

“Our greatest desire is for a state in which all our interactions are based in a free, mutual, and noble exchange of love. Everyone wishes to be in a condition of relaxed, yet intimate and purposeful harmony with the whole of life…the union of humankind, Deity, and Nature.”
     -Richard Heinberg, “Memories and Visions of Paradise: Exploring the Universal Myth of a Lost Golden Age”

A loss of spirit has big implications for us personally and collectively. Without the feeling of being connected to something that is larger than us what is the point in doing the things that we do?

​And before you read any further I need to be very clear that I am not advocating for all of us to go back to church. Although that might be the way for some to connect to Spirit, that one of the results of how much power the church was granted was its ability to pave over so many other paths to Spirit means that it was essential to step back and ask the question…is this my way?

We are globally swimming in the outfall of the toxic mess dumped from the innards of boys masquerading as men.

Or at least that’s my blunt opinion on the ridiculous matter of the so-called “men” in positions of great power around the world. This current boy president south of our border, straight out of Lord of the Flies, can only ever act the part as the biggest man in town, because he never learned how to hold his masculinity in the way a real man does. With inner strength, not outer might.

This past weekend I led a Family Constellations workshop and the consequences of “missing fathers” came up as the central unhealed trauma in both of the constellations that we worked through. Whether or not these fathers were present physically in some capacity, they were missing emotionally and energetically. And the consequences of this were (and are) wide ranging, including that boys without fathers are less likely to ever figure out how to hold their masculinity in a good way.  It isn't impossible of course,  many great men were raised by women or in the presence of an absent or boy-posing-as-man father. I'm just saying that it's a much tougher road when we have to learn and grow without positive role modelling.